The Brits are known for holding a stiff lip, the less emotion you show the stronger you are. The Royal family is no exception. When Princess Diana died in the horrible car crash in a Paris tunnel on August 31, 1997, Queen Elizabeth and the rest of the family took refuge in Balmoral castle in Scotland. All the while, the rest of the United Kingdom was reeling from the tragic news and expecting more than silence from their queen.
The public turned on the Royal family, particularly Queen Elizabeth, accusing them of being heartless and disconnected. Many worried that Prince William and Prince Harry, who were 15 and 12 at the time, would be raised in the same cold, no emotion environment as Prince Charles. A contrast to Diana’s hands-on, affectionate, and loving approach.
Today, Prince William, 34, and Prince Harry, 32, seem to not only push away the notion that being aloof and cold is normal, but have also tackled the often uncomfortable conversation surrounding mental illness.
Princess Diana wanted her sons to have a regular upbringing.
Eating McDonald’s, going to amusement parks, and visiting AIDS patients was some of the things Diana did with her two sons.
When Prince Harry was born on September 15, 1984, he was third in line of succession.
For Diana, it was important that her two sons had a normal childhood because she was aware their lives would always be unique from everyone else.
Prince William was the first heir to the throne to attend public school, Harry followed suit.
“She very much wanted to get us to see the rawness of real life. And I can’t thank her enough for that, ’cause reality bites in a big way, and it was one of the biggest lessons I learned is, just how lucky and privileged so many of us are — particularly myself,” Prince William told Katie Couric in 2012.
Diana had high hopes for her two boys.
She famously said “I want them to have an understanding of people’s emotions, people’s insecurities, people’s distress, and of their hopes and dreams.”
Queen Elizabeth was criticized for taking William and Harry to church on the same day of their mother’s death.
When Diana was alive and a member of the Royal family, insiders say the Queen saw her former daughter-in-law as a “misfit.”
After Diana’s death, the upbringing of the two princes was on Charles’ shoulders with the influence of the Queen.
The three princes walked alongside Kensington Palace seeing all the flowers, stuffed animals, and letters left by her adoring followers.
There was also outrage at the fact that the flag at Buckingham Palace was not lowered to half-mast.
After the public outcry, it was eventually lowered. It has been reported how the Queen and Prince Philip have not always known how to deal with Charles. The staunch Prince Philip found that Charles was a sensitive child.
Charles brought back Harry’s nanny Tiggy Legge-Bourke after Diana’s death.
For all intents and purpose, Diana’s boys seemed to adjust to life well without their mother.
Nonetheless, Harry acted like the black sheep of the family.
There were plenty of photos of the royal’s crazy partying ways, heavy drinking, and smoking pot. This may seem like regular antics of a young man, but Harry is a royal.
A 2006 video surfaced of Harry referring to a fellow soldier as “our little Paki friend” and another as a “raghead.”
A year earlier, a photo was captured of Harry attending a costume party wearing a Nazi uniform with a swastika band around his arm.
It seemed that the young prince was in a downward spiral.
It was one negative publicity photo after another. But then all of sudden, it seemed that Harry grew up.
Many point out to the physical similarities between William and Diana.
In terms of personality, Harry seems to be more like his late mother.
Princess Diana’s former bodyguard, Ken Wharfe, calls Harry a “new Diana.”
Harry is invested in many charities in the United Kingdom and other parts of the world.
But it’s his latest admission that has many praising his candidness.
The Prince was only a young boy when his mother died. He seemed to cope well, but Harry is opening up what life was like after losing his mother.
Harry spoke with Britain’s Daily Telegraph newspaper on the effects of his mother’s passing.
Harry said he “shut down all his emotions,” for two decades.
His brother William told him to seek help but he didn’t think it would help.
“I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well,” he told Bryony Gordon.
“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle,” he revealed during the 30 minute podcast.
“My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum, because why would that help?” he revealed. “(I thought) it’s only going to make you sad, it’s not going to bring her back.”
“So from an emotional side, I was like ‘right, don’t ever let your emotions be part of anything,'” he continued.
Harry seems to have the same effect on people like his mother did. While William is friendly, it is Harry who bonds with everyone he meets.
“So I was a typical 20, 25, 28-year-old running around going ‘life is great’, or ‘life is fine’ and that was exactly it,” he said.
It wasn’t until he was 28 when he was dealing with anxiety over royal engagements and feeling “on the verge of punching someone,” that he realized he needed help.
Prince Harry didn’t realize all the baggage he was carrying with him.
“And then (I) started to have a few conversations and actually all of a sudden, all of this grief that I have never processed started to come to the
forefront and I was like, there is actually a lot of stuff here that I need to deal with,” he said.
Prince Harry said his brother kept pushing and talking to him about what he was going through.
“It’s all about timing. And for me personally, my brother, you know, bless him, he was a huge support to me. He kept saying this is not right, this is not normal, you need to talk to (someone) about stuff, it’s okay,” he recalled. “The timing wasn’t right. You need to feel it in yourself, you need to find the right person to talk to as well.”
Now Prince Harry is encouraging others to seek help as well.
“I can’t encourage people enough to just have that conversation because you will be surprised firstly, how much support you get and secondly, how many people literally are longing for you to come out,” he assured.
It wasn’t easy to speak about mental health for the Prince.
He shared with Gordon how he felt “a little nervous, a little tight in the chest.”
He hopes sharing something very personal will help others.
“What we are trying to do is normalize the conversation to the point where anyone can sit down and have a coffee and just go ‘you know what, I’ve had a really s— day, can I just tell about it? Because then you walk away and it’s done,'” he explained.
Many in Britain are praising the young prince.
Someone as privileged as Prince Harry talking about his personal struggles is a positive direction towards shattering the stigma behind mental health.
Aside from counselling Harry said boxing has helped.
“During those years I took up boxing, because everyone was saying boxing is good for you and it’s a really good way of letting out aggression,” he said. “And that really saved me because I was on the verge of punching someone, so being able to punch someone who had pads was certainly easier.”
It is reported that Harry is dating American actress Meghan Markle. He appears to have stability in his life after overcoming the loss of his mother.
“Because of the process I have been through over the past two and a half years, I’ve now been able to take my work seriously, been able to take my private life seriously as well, and been able to put blood, sweat and tears into the things that really make a difference and things that I think will make a difference to everybody else,” he shared.
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